The Amazing "Gimme A Buck (please)" Website

Since I put up this website, I've received quite a number of wonderfully inspirational messages. (Excuse me while I go take my truth pills...) Well, mostly wonderful and inspirational - some of them are just plain wacko. Anyway, I thought it might be kind of fun for you to read them too, so here they are in all their splendor.

When it comes to profane language, excessive use of such words will lead to "bleeping". And don't even get me started on spelling or grammar -- all messages are in their original state, I've made no fixes at all.

GET A ******* JOB YOU **** *** ***** **** **********!
(Yikes! My ears started bleeding after I read this message. I didn't even know a few of the words could be used in such a way.)

YOU ARE A LOSER! jeez, if i had a penny, i would break it in half and send that to you.
(Yes, I also will accept pennies.)

How Heard: Miraculous revelation

My dear man, I have seen the many messages from people who have visited your site and said "I would send you money, but I'm broke, sorry." These people are lying, thieving, greedmongers. I, too, had no money, when I found your site.

But I swore to myself resolvedly that before I died, I would give you not a buck, but 5. That's right. 5.
(Truly, your revelation was miraculous!)

So I began to work for the $5. I would scrape up change, check phone booths for left-over quarters, and yes, I even stooped to writing a trashy romance novel and accepting the royalties.

But now, nearly 18 minutes after I first laid eyes on your site, I have the $5.00, my odyssey is complete. If any man asks me "Did you give the gimmeabuck guy a buck?" I can stand up straight and tall and say to him in a firm, clear, unwavering voice. "Yes, sir, I did. And four more to boot." Today I am whole. Today my life is complete. Thank you.

I have only two requests. First, when you go to your fancy dinner, use my $5.00 for a part of the tip. And when the waiter or waitress collects it, put your hand on his or her shoulder and say
"That money came to me from a man who went through many pains and many troubles, a veritable miasma of suffering. But now his anguish is complete, and the $5 now passes to you."

Then nod at him or her slowly and meaningfully, and pat them on the shoulder in a paternal sort of way.

Secondly, leave my website URL on here.
http://mildlypsychotic.blogspot.com
(See the message board - I added your link :)

To conclude, I would say that those $5 were the greatest $5 I would ever spend. If I ever spend $5 on, say, helping to save a poor crippled orphan's life, and the doctors come up to me and say "Sir, we are in your debt. Without that $5, we could have never saved that boy's life", I will respond to them thus:
"My good gentlemen, I have done good here, but my charity here is pale in comparison to the charity towards the great man at gimmeabuck.com. The monetary amount is the same, but only the gimmeabuck.com guy gives you purpose, ego, a reason for life in return. Then I would take my $5 back from the little orphan kid and leave him to die, and give the $5 to you. For you are the only one who truly deserves it, if the fates are willing and bestow upon me more funds.

Thank you for making me a complete person. When I conquer the world and its inhabitants in the very near future, you will be the tax collector, and not forced to pull reeds from the swamps like the other underlings. Peace be with you.

(Reed-pulling isn't so bad. I actually did that for a summer when I was in school. The pay sucked - but the leeches were downright tasty!)

Location: Croydon, PA

Hello! I am so curious. You made a whole web page to get a dollar? What made you decide to do this??? Well, If I had a dollar I'd give it to ya....but I have a negative 25 in my bank account and I'm a starving college student studying to be an actress....when I'm on broadway I'll give you a dollar....but in the mean time...what posessed you to make a whole web site on getting a dollar?
(Well, it's a good think you're "studying" to be an actress because deductive reasoning is not your thing. I created this "whole website on getting a dollar" because... you guessed it.. (well, not in your case).. I want people to give me a dollar.)

i think this site is intresting. i was thinking of sending you some money but the more i think about it the more moral i loose on the subject of sending you money. did you make this site becuase you are desprite for money becuase you wanted to see how much money you could make? you made around 200 right? thats awsome maybe you should advertise more, but i suppose you would loose more then you make.....maybe.....i guess making money is about taking risks huh?well i recently bought a playstion 2 i have been saving up for you digin me? i have some money left over like around...20 dollars and i was thinking of a good way to get it off my hands...pizza at pizza hut, deoderant(i'm running out), pairs or new socks(tempting), guy who wants a dollar...hmmm...you did go through alot trouble to make this sight, nice interface, nice navigation, i think you deserve something but you did get around 200 right? i just can't make up my mind new socks or guy who needs dollar...i guess i don't really need new socks...i do have a whole drawer full
(Your email came at a perfect time! I was recently looking inside my own sock drawer and I realized my socks are all in pretty sad shape. How about if you send me the $20, and I'll buy myself some new socks with it? That way we both win!)

It's been 7 months since my 18th birthday. I said Id send you money after that, and I just want to let you know that 15-20 bucks will be on it's way shortly. *Plus* I like you soooo much, that I've set a few (about 20) computers home pages to your site :D (Cyber cafes, libraries, friends, school) So I hope you get some more money soon :) (Awesome! Rhonda just sent this a few minutes ago.. click here for a scan of her first letter and the bucks. I can hardly wait to get the sequel.)

Me and my Bro both think this was a great idea we to try to come up with easy ways to become rich. example-Joe came up with the idea of stealing peoples pets and waitting for them to put out a reward...then we return their pet and get money.....but that hasnt happened yet so we cant send you a dollar. (www.getyourpetback.com is still available!)

Yo peep dis. Me and my homey DB found some stoopid fly honeys, so I says to honey #1, "Damn Bitch, You Stoopid Fly. How's about you back that *** up and let me smack that monkey!". DB just says "Word". Next thing ya know, jimmy hat was on and we was hittin it while listenin to some fly beats. Me and DB that is - the honeys just dissed us. (What?)

i've just spent the past half hour on your site, trying to take all this in...maybe i'm the one who's insane, or i'm just really, really bored. it doesn't surprise me that someone could stoop so low just for a buck. Do you know how many people are out there who would LOVE to get rich, so they could pay their "omnipresent-bills"??? The money people are sending is going to some lazy bum who is just like the rest of us, wanting an easy dollar. What really sets me off, is the fact that people sent you money...and for no good reason. you should be ashamed that you're taking a dollar that could go to some poor kids! don't get me wrong, i rarely donate money, (considering i'm only a jobless junior in high school!) but nonetheless, i'd rather give money to a good cause then to waste it. and now i'm wasting my time on a lost cause...i guess you got what you wanted, right? (Um.. no. What I wanted was a dollar. You seem to have only given me your philosophy on life.)

I think y'all should shut the **** up and leave the gimme-the-buck-guy the **** alone. Y'all are sitting in your little suburban homes BURNING your dollars. Either that or feeding them to your worthless children. GOD you need to get those dollars out of your *** that are making you such a TIGHTWAD and send them to this entrepreneur. Strong words for a strong cause, my man. (Thanks man. I only hope the world is listening.)

I'm sure many of us have had the thought of running an ad in the back of a magazine in the classifieds...give me a dollar started there...this takes it to a new level. Excellent website! Very creative! You don't need a job, as some have said: this can BE your job. You can demonstrate to the rest of us lazy working people that to do something unique and creative can be more rewarding than the traditional 'job'. GOOD LUCK, sir! May you acheive all you conceive. Don't listen to the nay-sayers; you're doing what few have the nerve or courage to do. Thanks for the entertaining website. I don't have a dollar for you; but perhaps my words of praise and encouragement could be worth more than a dollar, I hope so. (Nope. I'd rather you had sent me a buck. If I wanted praise and encouragement I'd have called it "The Amazing Gimme Good Feelings Website.")

Your nuts. I could use that dollar for 2 packs of gum. Nice try though.
(How about sending me one of those packs of gum? I could use some gum. What flavour is it?)

Get lost ya scabby ****head. I doubt that any one will ever give ya their dosh that they worked their honist butt of for. I'd prefure 2 keep mi buck and I imagine so will other people.Ya may say that its only $1 so what its my $ and its gonna stay my $. U get paied by the government like everyone else and if ya poor its ya own friggin fault.And ya freakish family, they'd b ashamed of you and wouldn't admit knowing you if they knew what you were doing. Ya should be ashamed of ya self having to scab over the internet, so go and get a job ya povo *****. Call me a cheapskate ya bugger. **** off and stop asking people for money, derro! ***** ****** ***** ya didnt even say ***** please. Its all 'gimme a buck' speak'n like that you'll never get nothing. So once again **** off ya skabby looking **** and go *** out ya ******.
(Phew.. Even I had to wash my mouth out with soap after reading that!)

Do I have to skin it first?
(I didn't get this one either... so my wife explained it to me. A *buck*. Get it? As in a deer? Gimme A BUCK. After a while, it's pretty funny!)

that's pretty stupid of you to do all this. only idiots would send a bum like you money. i can't fathom how lazy and stupid you must be, let alone the people that actually send you money. the world is already full of idiots anyway, it's nice to see you contributing to the idiot population. get a real job, and then if you need money then get a loan, or borrow money from friends (if you have any) or family (if they're willing to claim you). that's all. sincerely, matthew jenkins
p.s. - please notify me if you put this on your site, and please write back. i'd like to see just how accomplished of a writer you are.
(Apparently, I am an idiot. I wish I had heard from this guy a lot sooner because he would have saved me a lot of stress. All this time.. I just didn't realize my problem is that I am an idiot! Now that I know (thanks Mathew!) I'm an idiot I can live a bit more peacefully - as only an idiot can.)

Once upon a time there was a little dollar that was lying under my computer keyboard. One day I picked up the keyboard. I found the dollar! I spent it. I spent it on a chocolate bar. It was a very delicious chocolate bar. It tasted good. If you are wondering why my dollar is not in your mail box, that is why. Because of chocolate.
(Once upon a time there was a woman who gave birth to the most annoying little child in all of history... she would have sent the child to remedial school, but she spent the money on chocolate bars instead. So now you know where those urges for chocolate come from.)

He who expects nothing is rarely disappointed.
(Hmm. I wonder what *my* problem is, them?)

Well hey. ill send you a dollor, a CANADIAN dollor! haha you fool. that is only like 50 cents american (grumbles about crappy exchange rate). But oh yes, fear Canada, because some day all americans will grovel at our feel for our precious loonies. mwa ha ha ha!!! (There is nothing sadder than a meglomaniacal[sic] Canadian.) -- C, eh, N, eh, D, eh
(Although a loonie Canadian comes close.) <grin>

It is not a law that you have to put a 33 cent (or whatever the current postage price is) stamp on a envolope. If you where to put a 1 cent stamp on a envolope with no return address on the envolope, and drop it into one of those corner mailboxes (do not put it in your mailbox or drop it off at the post office) the post office has to deliver the letter with that postage. They way it works is the post office has made a offer to deliever your mail for 33 cents, you counter offer with the 1 cent stamp and as soon as that envelope is picked up by the mail carrier its an acceptance of the counter offer. Sometimes they may include a postage due bill with the envelope but I have never had it collected upon. So you see you to can help this person for only $1.01. As for myself I figure this advice and little loophole is worth a buck so consider this my contribution to your campain.
(Anyone want to test his hypothesis? If I receive your letter (and your buck), I'll post that fact right here. That way we can all save a bit!)

You know, as a 16 year old, I'm pretty broke, but you made this amazing website (oohs and ahhs in the background) so I say if I have the money after Christmas shopping, I'll be sure to send it your way. Great site, keep up the great (and hilarious) work! -- South Carolina
(Uh huh. I hear ya. Every year my wife and I try to spend as little as we can to minimize ye-old-omnipresent-pile-o-bills, but every year we end up just a little bit worse then the last. I think www.brokefromshoppinghelpmeoutplease.com is still available.)

If I give you one million dollars will you come to my house and clean my bathroom?
( YES!! Absolutely. Well, actually...I'd take that million and spend about $5,000 of it to redo your bathroom. So not only would you have a new bathroom, but it would be clean, too! Heck, today I'm feeling generous so for a mere $10,000 I'll come and clean your bathroom. My wife says I'm pretty good at toilets.)

Well, I must admit...this is a great idea. How much money have you gotten so far? If I put up a site and link it to your'se, can I have a commission? I'll only ask for $.30 for every dollar you take in. Can we do this? hehehe. Just kiddin. Really, though, I'd be inclined to give you a whole 5 bucks if you were within driving distance just for the sheer balls that you have. I guess it's easier than standing on the street corner and holding a cardboard sign. :) Good luck (I'm not sending you a buck). -- Houston, Texas
(Jeez, you get me all excited about this possible business partnership and then 'WHAM!' -- you let me down. What a bummer. And to top it off, you don't even send me a buck...sigh)

if i gave u a buck 4 each time i laughed, i'd be broke and u'd be rich. Since i'm not going to give u anything, u're poor and i'm rich..ha!
(Not to mention mean-spirited and dimwitted.)

Darn.... I wish you were single... I laughed my butt off at this site... but you know what.... I'm sending you a dollar... and I am telling all my family members to send you one too.. I sit here typing this thinking ... I am sure that the general public would like to see "someone" succeed and "what's a buck?" Look for it in "snail mail".... I'll mark it so you know I am the one that sent it... I put the letters "WAB" on it... "W"hats "A" "B"uck..... LOVE YOU FOR THIS...
(Your buck is a step towards that success. One very small step, but a step nonetheless. To the general public I repeat the question: "What's a Buck?!" Oh ya, and I generally prefer women who *have* a butt.)

I found this really awesome way for you to makjes lots of money easily! You don't have to download anything like a browser, just refer people! It's that simple. Since you seem to be in desperate need of money, I am sharing this with you. All I ask for in return is that you use my REFERAL ID when you sign up.
(Yes, thanks. How about if YOU sign up ten people, get them to sign up ten more people, and then give me all the cash, ok? If anyone really wants to sign up for something like this, then click here.)

I like this guy. He doesn't make any pretenses, and he's pretty funny. After the time and effort he spent on the web page, I think he deserves a buck or two from everyone who has a laugh. I'd have given more, but I'm not exactly rich myself. Yer welcome fer the money. You can even keep whatever's in that weird little box on the secret pages.
(Zowee! This guy gave me $10 !! What a wonderful world! I'm overjoyed! Ahhh, life is beautiful after all!)

Is it alright if I fax you a buck?
(Of course. As long as you put your name and address on the transmittal info so I can hunt you down..)
(That was a joke, by the way)

I laughed.
I cried.
I wondered how long you spent making this site.
(And I never received your buck!)

Hilarious site and the chuckles I got from it worth about 65 cents. Perhaps when I come back and get a few more laughs, it might come up to a whole dollar!
( I'm afraid I didn't get that 65 cents yet... maybe it got lost? Or maybe you DIDN"T SEND IT!!! Grrrr.)

you're a strange person. i'd like to know how much you've made with this venture. well, good luck to you. unfortunately, I can't be bothered to go to all the work it takes to send you a buck, as I don't have a credit card, or online checking, and don't want to mail it. besides, I'm a student. However, since I am a student, you may want to send me money. how? it's easy! go to my website (deleted) and email me for details on how we can become business partners. have fun!
(Why would I want to be business partners with someone who's broke and is too lazy to go to a mailbox? Besides, sending you money doesn't sound like a very good partnership.)

This HAS TO be a joke, right? If it isn't then you ar pathetic. GET A JOB! I'm insulted that you would ambush me, an unsuspecting user, and beg for cash. This is what is wrong with America, besides censorship, people like you who think they can do nothing but collect welfare checks, my money, and/or beg, get a job because unless you move to China/Cuba or a group of communist terrorists ove thruogh the govement the only way you are going to make any money is to GET A JOB!
(Ambush? I AMBUSHED you? Let me get this straight: My website, which is a PASSIVE mechanism, sits here quietly until YOU SEARCH for it, YOU TYPE IN IT'S ADDRESS, and YOU SIT AND WAIT FOR IT TO APPEAR, has somehow AMBUSHED YOU? Were you somehow fooled by the misleading name? Were you looking for americanworkethic.com and mistakenly typed gimmeabuck.com instead? Exactly HOW were you ambushed?)

Hey, this isn't so unusual. I get this form from the IRS every year that tells me to fill out this confusing form, and after doing so, I'm supposed to send them several hundred dollars! With this, I don't have to fill anything out, and if I don't send the dollar, I don't go to prison.

Presently, I'd like to give ya one dollar, two, three etc ... But I simply don't have a flat dime in my pocket. I make translations from English to Portuguese I earn 30 bucks a month. my mom grows 4 kids and I live in a student housing. I'm using this computer illegally, but my e-mail address is real. I study languages in a public brazilian university. I'd like to know if someone ever sent you a buck by your homepage... could you help me with something? could you get me a home in your country? I even posted an article on the Usenet asking for a home and job in the U.S. I'm worried.. I have a little hope..I need help.. thank you

my e-mail is: apg-jp@dfjp.ufpb.br snail mail: Ismael Nobrega Cidade Universitaria Cx. Postal 5064 CEP 58059-970 Joao Pessoa, Brazil

Why don't you use your $7 to buy some cigarettes then sue the tobacco companies?
(hmmm....-cough- -cough-...)

Hi. This is President Bill Clinton. I was just looking at your site with my lovely wife Hillary and we both agreed that you are a truly creative and innovative American citizen. I know about the situation that you are in and I have gone into the streets and talked to others in similar circumstances. I make a pledge that within my presidency my admistration will give you a dollar, if not that, a quarter. This will be pending a period of time while I await my next paycheck however. God bless you. President Bill Clinton

One little, two little, three little dollars. Four little, five little, six little dollars, seven little, eight little, nine little dollars, and they will never see your eyes!

Tell me when you plan on going global !! Need some tie-ups, collaborations, subscribe to : (website removed - no buck given)

I was thinking about getting the domain name GimmeAbuckToo.com, but I thought to myself - would someone be willing to fall for this gimmic twice?

Here is my virtual dollar. "DOLLAR" enjoy. I hope you choke. may your days be short and may the days of your kind be shorter. may you lose two dollars for every dollar you are sent.
(Jeez, no end of niceness in this world, is there..?)

Ach! Such a funny man! Me and tha missus are still laughin'! Not hard enough to actually SEND a dollar, but almost!

Hey!! Who did your site? I want to send THEM money!!
(I did. You can send your money to me anytime.)

huh-eh, huh-eh, huh-eh, huh-eh, cool. Can I pay my taxes to you instead of the gov't ? At least I'd know I'd get nothing when I pay ...
(yes, you can send me the money you would otherwise pay in taxes. I PROMISE to be as fiscally responsible as the government is!)

You'd do ALL THIS for just a Dollar?
(This guy must be the biggest egomaniac in the world. You're not the only guy on the planet, buddy!.)

I was on my way to the mail box with your dollar, but i was attacked by gang of wild ducks. I had to give them the dollar and my lucky rabbits foot. I would send another dollar but they're waiting at my mail box, I fear for my life, Sorry.
(I understand. I was pooped on by a horde of flying geese. Not fun.)

Can I sleep in Lincoln's bedroom if I send you a buck?
(Last time I heard, the Lincoln Bedroom was around $20K...)

Just reach into your wallet, and gimme a buck today!

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